WHAT IS INNER CHILD HEALING?
The moment I say Child, the image that fills up my mind is of an energetic, overflowing, loving being that is so full of life and energy, bundle of joy, trust and wonder. And a whole lot of amazing qualities.
Inner child is this ‘CORE EMOTIONAL BEING’ who lives in our body with us. We see and experience world for the first time as a child and this child remains with us throughout our lives, no matter what and who you become. This is the central part of you that needs Love and acceptance. And healing inner child does not make it disappear but make you more healthy, mature and understanding as a human being. This inner child is not just related to your childhood memories but is much deeper aspect of you, your only companion throughout life.
And I wonder what happens as we grow adult, why do we lose out on this qualities which we possessed. Why do we keep on becoming more tired, listless, devoid of life and enthusiasm?
If everything else keeps growing in and around us as we move from being child to an adult then why not this core qualities?
And I realized over years it is our wounded inner child that is making us sick and robbing us of all the energy that we have.
Over years we become Grumpy, resentful, tired and sick. We start living in reaction and defense. Our perception of life becomes more and more sick. We start feeling world is a hostile place.
INNER CHILD HEALING: WHY DO IT?
- First 7 years of our life are the most important and crucial which are going to determine how we move through life for the rest of our years.
- First encounter with world is through the eyes of a little child and this Child what we call our ‘Inner Child’ remains with us throughout the life, no matter what and who one becomes. There is this child within who fundamentally desires to be Loved, Cared and Accepted for who he is. And any and all experiences, which unfortunately are not very positive for most, will reflect throughout the journey of life.
- To feel our own Magnificence and joy within, our true limitless potential as a living being, to experience unconditional love in our lives, we need to embrace and express the child within- our inner child.
- The child within all of us is highly sensitive, creative and playful self- our spiritual being resides in this part of us. This self can instinctively sense things beyond five senses, and any wound or trauma to this part of you will incur serious damages for the entire life to come.
- Adults, in every culture have become so fearful of the sheer wonder and enthusiasm a child brings to life, that they exert immense amount of control on the child crushing his very spirit, traumatizing and damaging him for life long, robbing him of all the joy and magnificence which are his gifts to the world.
- And we all are ‘frozen’ in that time zone where we were wounded creating the same patterns repeatedly for us. Thewounded inner child within every adult has hypnotised the adult to make him automatically react to situations, people, life in general, taking him away from the present moment, not allowing him to experience life as it is in the now, but rather from the past experiences and programming. This is one of the reasons that life for an adult keeps moving in circles, attracting and creating similar situations, people and trauma in life.
- We are made emotionally dysfunctional by our very own Role models, both parental and societal.
- We are taught to repress and distort our emotional expression. We are trained and expected to be emotionally dishonest. All this repression and dishonesty causes society to be emotionally dishonest.
- Unless we integrate ourselves and reclaim our inner child in a safe, honest and unconditional environment, and re-embrace our child like qualities of wonderment, sensitivity and aliveness, the child within will remain isolated and wounded.
- Life will be lived again from the space of Unconditional love and pure Joy and we become whole human beings again, by regaining and reclaiming our inner child and child like qualities of spontaneity, creativity, playfulness and laughter.
- Inner Child Healing gives a thoroughlycomplete understanding and healing of the wounded Inner child, opening the inner gates of our being, to our Paradise within.
- All the unconscious patterns within are re-evaluated and transformed by re-living, re-parenting and reclaiming them at the wounded inner child level.
The common dictum is children are to be seen and not heard. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
We all have grown up with the teaching that children are to be punished to be disciplined. And that we really do not need to listen to children, as whatever they talk makes no sense.
The concept of healthy parenting as a skill is just getting known, and it is only a recent development which recognizes abuse as crime against parents rather than their rights.
We form our ‘deep core messages’ with our selves and other people around us and of course with life, from the way we are treated by our parents and role models around us, and by the society in general. The foundation is laid down right in the childhood and as we grow we keep reacting to those programming from the childhood. All those people who say their childhood has no impact on them are in extreme denial.
It is the ‘wounded inner children’ of world politicians and leaders in the history that has torn and wounded the entire humanity, brought wars, bloodshed, violence, poverty and homelessness to billions worldwide.
It is the work of extreme insecurity, fear, wounded and uprooted inner children of our leaders, who chose to inflict same pain and strife on others in the world, robbing them of their wealth, relations, home and family.
Every individual including child are to be respected and seen as they are and what they are, loved and accepted for being the unique soul as they are.
Only when we love and accept the individual can they love and accept themselves and others in their life.
INNER CHILD HEALING: HOW TO START
Though we are usually inclined to see outside for our entire problem solving, the truth is all the problems are solved from within, by looking deeper into our own selves, understanding and decoding our patterns by digging deeper in our own psyche.
So healing inner child takes us on a mysterious inner world where we ask ourselves certain questions:
- What are the kinds of people who attract me?
- What kind of people come in life in relationships?
- What kind of reaction pattern I hold in all the problematic situations?
- Why did I attract and create this particular illness in my life?
- Where did my behavior pattern come from?
- Why this negative emotion like being angry, helpless, tired, dejected, depressed, suicidal, etc overwhelm me sometimes?
These questions will straight take you to the cause and effect phenomenon in your life, both of which are within you.
RECOVERING YOUR INNER CHILD:
The process of recovering our inner child includes bringing to consciousness all those beliefs and unhealthy subconscious programming that are making us dysfunctional, over react and creating unhealthy ego defense mechanism and releasing and healing them, bringing in new healthy programming so that we can live a healthy, fulfilled life.
By recovering inner child we finally take charge of our life and move towards authentic empowerment. We own up our own power to make a conscious choice as regards our beliefs, values and choices in life rather than just acting out of the old programs.
On our emotional front, by honoring and owning up our inner child, we free ourselves of the Guilt held within us- the anger, terror, shame, etc.
We free ourselves of the toxic shame, the feeling of shamefulness thrust on us by people around us, for all things we never were responsible.
We finally can free ourselves of that shame and guilt, feeling of inadequacy and accept and own up our own self as we are and live a happy, fulfilled and progressive life always.
It has been one of the most healing, releasing and freeing technique I have experienced in my own self and also in my patients.
Suddenly you become light and easy once you get in touch and own up your Inner child. And then situation after situation you become more aware and watchful and integrated of your inner child and the care and attention required by it. And since this breaks your dependence on outside, for the first time you feel authentic freedom and self fulfillment.
I recommend Inner Child Healing for all-adults, children, parents, grandparents, men and women- all have the right to be authentically empowered and all should take up the opportunity to heal oneself.